Sorry, Apology NOT Accepted.

Sometimes I wish I was perfect. No flaws, nothing. No, not physically, but emotionally and mentally. People say stuff when they get mad. I'm one of them. I say stuff I don't mean especially when I get mad. The reason I get mad- because I am hurt. That's my defense from exposing to the world that I am hurt. Yes. I am very egoistic, and yes, I am admitting it. I say stuff that I don't mean when I get angry, and end up hurting everyone around me. I wish I wasn't like that, but I am. My mouth is like some laser. I really really hate that about me. Because it hurts everyone around me, and I actually don't mean it. But I know I can't take whatever I said back. Causing other people to be hurt. Well, I am sorry. Thats all I can say. I can't do anything to take back whatever I said, but if I could, I would. I love my family to bits, but yet I always hurt them. I know being mad is not an excuse for saying whatever I said, but that's my only excuse. Sometimes I just wanna go somewhere I know no one and start a new life. But life is not that simple is it? Gaaah. Running away is never the solution to any problem, so I guess I have to face whatever punishment thats in store for me. But thats not bothering me at all. What bothers me is that I have hurt you, and I can never take that back. Even if eventually you choose to forgive me, I can't actually be the same anymore. The thing is, arguing with my mom is SO normal, that we're so used to whatever we say to each other. 5 minutes later we totally forget and just be 'friends' again. Same with my sis. Thats whats so cool about them. But with my dad, its totally different, probably because I rarely get see him. All I can do is just feel super bad and apologize to him. Anyways, for what its worth, I'm really really sorry and I love you very much. You are the best father I could ever ask for and you'll always be my hero. :')

80th post.

 Distance doesn't matter if u really love the person, what matters is your honesty and trust for it to work out.


And yes Dan, I love you. So very much. :')

blood.

Hi. Stop playing mind games with me. Weren't you the one who said you hated it? And now you are doing it back to me? So what is this? Just a thing for you to get back at me then walk away? I'm not your toy or your puppet. I am a human being with feelings, just like you. If you really enjoy watching me suffer, then yes, continue watching. Bet you are enjoying it with popcorn&Coke. Good for you. One day when I am gone, I just hope you would miss me and not just the entertainment I was for you. Thank you. You said I never changed one bit. Are you even looking to see if I did? People would never praise you for the good you do. Once you make a slight mistake there they'll be like vultures waiting to feed on your misery. You are like that too. I never thought you would be like that. But oh well, I am not allowed to complain now am I? Throw me out the window and step on my stomach. Thats how I feel. Hmmm. Whatever.

reminder.

• Please listen to your brain, not heart.

I wanna get out of this stupid country a.s.a.p. I HAD to screw up. seriously FML. 

head.

This song is playing in my head. Cooler Than Me by Mark Posner.

If I could write you a song to make you fall in love

I would already have you up under my arm

I used up all of my tricks, I hope that you like this

But you probably won’t, you think you’re cooler than me 

Cempedak Love.

My dear sister, has anyone ever told you what a great person/friend you are? I'm sure you've heard this like about a billion times but yes, I mean it. I was lucky to have met you by chance, and how we clicked right on the first date and ditching the boys. Hahahahahahahha! I LOVE YOU&GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR EXAMS! :)  

Quicksand.

Its 8.10am and I am still awake. My owling days have begun again. Or should I say it never stopped? Grr. Think I'm gonna be sick. A bit of a sore throat and I keep sneezing and sniffling. Like an alien. Maybe I am one. Then I would only have 3 fingers. Or is it 2? No I have 5. If both hands 10. I want Shaun the Sheep. This stupid line of a song is stuck in my head but I have no idea what song is it. Or whether the song really exists or not. I think it does. I heard it somewhere but I have no idea where. And it pisses me off to not know what song since ONLY A LINE IS STUCK IN MY HEAD. It goes like this:


"I like you so much much, I think you're really hot hot"


At least thats what I think it says. WHAT SONG IS THAT LA! ish. 
Kakak went back to Indonesia for three weeks I think. For Raya. SO SADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! I got no one to talk to before I go to sleep. Thats in the morning after she wakes up. Cheese is sleeping like a peanut on the sofa. So cute. I want to go to the zoo. And I want to ride on a cow. OHHHH! I WANNA GO TO THE PETTING ZOO AND PLAY WITH THE ANIMALS! Yes. So many I want. Stupid Smita. Bye.

whateverrrrrrrrrrr.

Is it too soon to miss everyone in the world? I think so. After all, it takes 21 days to curb a habit right. It has been more than 21 days. Probably even 97 days. FML(yes, i finally used it.). Maybe I'm just being too demanding. Screw being me. I'm such a spoilt brat I want everything my way. Can I just be daddy's little girl forever? Where is my Cempedak Boat Lover Sister when I need her. Urghhhhhhhh. I want alcohol. And Thong Su Xian. And obviously CBLS(Cempedak Boat Lover Sister) Shanti. And SHAMINI RAJAH KOT. and Gabby. And Niniek. And Carmen and Vivian Wong. Today was fun. But wtf did I do till I forgot to dance?? Really FML. HAHAHA(sarcasm). Wait, what was I talking about again? 

Isolation.

I have been prepared for this my whole life. Yet when it happened I failed. Again. I am a failure. I have no one. I need someone to talk to. Though I should be dependent on myself. I am depressed. I wanna disappear from the world. I really do. Why did I even get into something when I knew the consequences? Sorry. Bye. 

Life in Ipoh.

Hello people. Yes I have decided to update my blog. Blah. Whatever. Anyways. My BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDEST WORLD HAS LEFT ME! Yes, Mini&I have been separated. I have been damn sad. Drowning my sorrows with alcohol, and yes, I am a proud alcoholic. Anyways, I wanted to blog about Karl&her departure but I felt it was too common, so I didnt. Plus the internet in my house is bloody slow. And its not like I am gonna be saying bye to them forever, right? BETTER NOT BE. Coz then I would DIE. Sigh. Anyway, one of my highschool friends whom I was close to before she left for London is back, and Ipoh has become fun again! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I spend every dying day with her, and she is so stupid and retarded that I feel like I am stoned everyday. Basically she is my drunk partner. hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahaa! Here are some pics that I took from FB from her(yes Xian I STOLE THEM FROM YOU! send me to rehab).

 Me with fake eyelashes!

U

Us with I-dont-know-her-name.

F

Fat Francis.

S

She wanted me up there and she tore off the ceiling. -.-

B

Bernard has never looked skinnier.

K

Kelvin Anthony a.k.a Mr Director. :P

D

Dont hate me coz I am BEAUTIFUL. 

K

Kevin Tan&I. And my "manly" pose. I think.

M

M&I. And my beer belly! WOOT!

Match made in Hell.

W

We love humping each other.

T

old you she's a RETARD!

M

M&I again. My horny face coz she's damn hot.

Yea so anyways thats it for now. Till I get more pics from Retarded Jeanette Thong Su Xian. My partner in crime till she leaves back for London. 

P.S: I have a prune where my liver once was. XOXO.

Grrr.

Yes. We all know Portugal is not in the World Cup anymore. Not like they were gonna win it anyway. The only reason I supported Portugal was coz of Cristiano Ronaldo. He is hott and he does play well. Just not this time. God knows why. Anyways, I get so pissed off when people constantly keep talking bad about him in front of me. I mean, its not like whoever they like plays well. Most of them are a bunch of cockfellas as well. So why the FUCK pick on Ronaldo instead of looking at people that they like. Gosh. Ok fine I shall just ignore. Anyways, Netherlands won against Brazil(WOOOOO, just as I had predicted) and Uruguay won against Ghana. I am kinda sad coz they were the only hope for Africa to be in the World Cup yet they lost. Thanks to Gyan Asamoah who missed the bloody penalty after Suarez(Uruguay) decided he got bored of playing football and wanted to play volleyball instead. I really am happy that Brazil lost, simply because they weren't playing well since the beginning! I don't fancy them anymore since Ronaldinho is not playing. He really knows his balls well. Hahahahahahahaha! And all the fancy footwork! Anyways tomorrow is Argentina vs Germany and Spain vs Paraguay. I really really want Argentina to win!!! Spain can just kiss my ass. I mean, I dont mind Torres but David Villa is bloody cocky and obnoxious. He is good looking and he plays well but he is bloody rude man. And I hate Puyol too. Urgh. Anyways, can't wait for the finals on the 11th. I predict(and hope) it would be Argentina vs Netherlands. Hehe.


Okay football aside, i've been bored these past few days. Yes I am in Ipoh. Not to say if I was in Sunway I would be entertained but at least I can go out and I would have more things to do. In Ipoh there's no one i know or want to hang out with. Thank God Karl is back, but he is going off to Melbourne for THREE bloody months on the 19th! Honestly, I am damn sad but I can't show it to him coz he already doesn't want to go. But I think he needs an eye opener to get out of this place so he can make a decision of what he wants to do with his life. He shouldn't let anyone or anything hold him back. He really is a very very good friend and I want him to be successful in life. Honestly, I really thank God for the friends I have from Ipoh, coz most of those that I am really close to are so real and genuine. They are so down to earth, not fake, THEY HAVE A HEART! oh and they don't lie. I mean, even if they do its harmless. I like friends who are completely transparent with me if I am with them. Because it shows that they really appreciate your friendship. Sighs.


Paris Hilton was arrested in South Africa after the Netherlands Brazil match for carrying pot(marijuana to those of you who don't know). Why would they suddenly decide to check her anyways? Sigh. I really pity celebrities coz they don't have their privacy. I mean, its their lives let them do what they want without publishing it to humiliate them. But oh well. Tabloids will be tabloids, as humans only want to read the falling of others to feel contended about themselves. Though we try very hard to hide it, everyone has in instilled in them to see somebody else fall. Whatever.  *I feel pissed off with the world, must be the PMS. 
-Informantion retrieved from http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38065779/

Love. FIFA 2010.

Heylooo beautiful readers. Its the holidays now and my life has been pretty much a bore. Thank God for the invention of football!!! The World Cup has been my sole entertainer this whole break. Oh, I am not complaining. Hahaha! I had actually planned on updating my blog about every match, but I thought I would just remember what to write since my house in Ipoh had no internet, but then when my mom finally decided to get internet, I completely forgot the whole idea of blogging. Every single day, without fail, I watch the matches. All of them. Except when they were showing two matches at the same time. I love the World Cup. I'm actually so pissed off that my dad is going for the World Cup finals this year in South Africa. He already went for the last World Cup(semi finals and finals). But he promised me he would take me for the next one in Brazil! Aiyaiyai! I can't wait!!!! Anyways, it has been really interesting. Italy and France out even before the knock out rounds, and now England is out too! Well they were playing pretty bad. England vs Germany was a totally predictable match. Like who didn't know England was gonna lose to the Germans. Thank you Lukas Podolski, Miroslav Klose and Thomas Muller who scored 2 goals. And of course FANTASTIC Argentina's 3-1 win against Mexico. Mann the Argentinians are really kicking ass! Tevez's 2 goals and Gonzalo Higuain were the bomb. I really hoped Lionel Messi would have scored though. Anyways I am definitely rooting for them to win the World Cup this time around. Or Netherlands. Aaaaah can't wait for their match tomorrow. The Dutch are good but they never seem to win it? I feel that Argentina is the only team that has been consistent. But anyways, we shall see. Ooooh I cant wait for Spain vs Portugal too. My husband(Cristiano Ronaldo) on the field, all sweaty, uuurrrrrgh!! I need to stop myself. Hahahahahaa! I really hope they kick those Spanish butts. I like Spain too, but I prefer Portugal. I love the World Cup. I dont hink I've said it enough. Hahaha! I feel so happy every time I open my Facebook, and almost everyone has a status about the matches. I feel more connected to people. Weird I know. But yea. Haha! Oh! I won RM200 on the Argentina and Germany matches. I made bets with my dad. The easiest way to get money. So if i were to lose I wouldnt need to pay him back. Cunning much? Hehe! 


*Whoever invented football should be worshiped as a god. -Hugo Sanchez

mind.

I have so many things going through my mind right now. Damn a lot. Something today made me touched. Lame I know but hey, it is touching. I wished a senior of mine in high school happy birthday on Facebook today. I wasn't that close to her in high school nor did I expect her to remember me even. Yet, below my wish, she commented that when she saw my post, she pictured my laugh. It is touching because I never would have expected her to even reply to it. If someone I rarely speak/have spoken to can remember something about me, why can't you who I have been with for almost 2 years? Sigh. Sometimes I feel that I am expecting too much, but every single day I feel like I am nagging my heart out and nothing is ever gonna change. Grrr. But then I saw this, and it made a whole lot of sense. I know my two stories doesn't link very much at all but my mind works in mysterious ways. Anyhow,

VW Bugfest 2010.

Okay so it was at the beginning of June and it was time for BUGFEST that my cousins have been planning since months ago. I personally could not wait as I love Volkswagens although I don't know much about cars, this is one car I know about. Hehe. Anyways, we all left on the 4th of June, a day before the show. Oh, it was held in JB. All of us were staying at another cousin's place. I'll just let the pictures and captions do the talking.

Okay so by the time I reached, due to my finals only ending in the evening, I followed the second group to leave to JB and that was at 8 at night. By the time we reached and stuff it was late. On the way I had a few beers, and when I reached there was a whole ice box filled with beer waiting for me. Overall, my cousins had bought 4 crates, but when I reached we were only left with 2 crates, so therefore we drank till dawn. I was drunk+tired+I cried that night so forgive me for looking like a mess in all the pictures. Picture taking only started at 7am when we decided to jump in the pool. Pictures time! 

  

We were posing and my cousin(guy) said "Its not good to take a pic with three ppl in it! One will die!". Actually, he just wanted to be in the picture.

Told you I was drunk.

I was floating and apparently I looked like an otter.

  

Found a frangipani, got excited, and check out the eyebags due to no sleep and yea, drunk. My cousin looked so fresh because she was sober and she had sleep.

My cousin loves photography so she made me do this. I think its retarded but I love the water droplets thingy.

This picture reminds me of us when we were small kids.

Awwwww. <3

Beetles. (Red one belongs to Shonny a.k.a Rizal and Aqua one belongs to my cousin, Sajiv)

Beetles all lined up at the BugFest.

Marilyn Monroe. I didnt really like it because the sticker wasnt stuck on it properly. Whatever happened to perfection. Geez.

Walking to check out the Type 2s, Kombi!

Scirocco first generation

Few of the Kombis.

More Beetles.

Check this Beetle out.

Lady Bug with eyelids and teeth too!

My fav Beetle at the whole show. Colour, rims, EVERYTHING.

 

Unique colour.

Paint job and sound system well done. Very well actually.

My cousin's Golf GTI mk2.

Cousins bf's Golf GTI mk1.

Shonny a.k.a Rizal's Beetle California Look.

Cousin's Beetle California Look as well.

Bugfest baby.

Black Beauty.

Front

Back.

We train em young.

I love this pic.

My red Beetle. ooooo I wish!

 

My red ring on my cousin's finger.

 

'Golf owners the face all must be very lan si'. Yet he just looks like a retarded petrol station worker. I feel sad for my cousin.

GROUP PICTURE!

First VW I ever drove, few years back.

After that, we proceeded for tea at an Indian restaurant, and this was the bill. See if you guys can guess what it says.

The next day, it was time to leave. Goodbye JB.

All in all, I had fun. Can't wait to do it again. Next up, Langkawi post! :D