Sorry, Apology NOT Accepted.

Sometimes I wish I was perfect. No flaws, nothing. No, not physically, but emotionally and mentally. People say stuff when they get mad. I'm one of them. I say stuff I don't mean especially when I get mad. The reason I get mad- because I am hurt. That's my defense from exposing to the world that I am hurt. Yes. I am very egoistic, and yes, I am admitting it. I say stuff that I don't mean when I get angry, and end up hurting everyone around me. I wish I wasn't like that, but I am. My mouth is like some laser. I really really hate that about me. Because it hurts everyone around me, and I actually don't mean it. But I know I can't take whatever I said back. Causing other people to be hurt. Well, I am sorry. Thats all I can say. I can't do anything to take back whatever I said, but if I could, I would. I love my family to bits, but yet I always hurt them. I know being mad is not an excuse for saying whatever I said, but that's my only excuse. Sometimes I just wanna go somewhere I know no one and start a new life. But life is not that simple is it? Gaaah. Running away is never the solution to any problem, so I guess I have to face whatever punishment thats in store for me. But thats not bothering me at all. What bothers me is that I have hurt you, and I can never take that back. Even if eventually you choose to forgive me, I can't actually be the same anymore. The thing is, arguing with my mom is SO normal, that we're so used to whatever we say to each other. 5 minutes later we totally forget and just be 'friends' again. Same with my sis. Thats whats so cool about them. But with my dad, its totally different, probably because I rarely get see him. All I can do is just feel super bad and apologize to him. Anyways, for what its worth, I'm really really sorry and I love you very much. You are the best father I could ever ask for and you'll always be my hero. :')

80th post.

 Distance doesn't matter if u really love the person, what matters is your honesty and trust for it to work out.


And yes Dan, I love you. So very much. :')