Sunday, October 18, 2009

Lesson learnt.

Never, I repeat, NEVER do anything for people. The best way is just to be selfish. I'm damn damn pissed. Whats the use of doing something and going out of the way just to help a friend, when they are just going to turn around and kick you in the ass. And mind you, I didnt expect this from YOU cause I thought you would understand since you are older than all of us. Well whatever. Looks like age is really only a number. People should start judging age by your mentality. WHATEVER LA. At least now I know and thank God this was like a wake up call. I'm just gonna be selfish from now on, and keep to myself. Whatever I want, I do. Not stupid favors for people anymore. Luckily, I'm disappearing back to Ipoh tomorrow and NEVER having to deal with people like you anymore. For the time being at least. But whatever. Even after I come back I know how to keep my distance la. Call me childish, but enough is enough. I hate being pushed around by people, and I've taken enough shit my whole life. Its about time I put a stop to it.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Owl.

I've been owling for the past couple of days. I have no idea why I just can't fall asleep. I'm finally picking up the pieces of my future again. Don't know how everything is gonna be, if it would really work out or not, but lets just hope for the best. I've been in a really whiny mood these days. Especially to Dan. I don't know why la. I think I'm just afraid. Here's the part I whine about him. Please bare with me, Preeta and Scandal syg. Since you guys are the only loves who read my sad blog about nothing. Hahahaha.

* I feel his stupid student council is more important than me. I mean, yes I get it its good and its gonna look good in his transcripts and blablabla. But hello? when I tell him I'm gonna be leaving back and he probably won't get to see me for weeks? I mean, not like he would even take the effort to even come down to Ipoh to see me. So? While I'm here can't he make the best of it? Its always his council his council his council. I've had CLOSE friends who were in the council too but hey, they were nvr THAT busy. I get it, he has duties to take care of the council booth, but its not like he can't even change to an earlier slot with someone else? Aiyah. Anything la. I know I should take the initiative to go to college to see him, but being in that place just reminds me of how I saw THEM together while we broke up. Her sitting on his lap, him hugging her, and blablabla. Everytime I go there, hang out with him, his friends, I can't help but think, 'did his friends like her more than they like me?'. Which I think they do. Cause if not his friends would have tried talking to him into getting back with me instead of her. Not like I didn't talk to them, I did. So? Although I knew them and they are nice people, I still feel uncomfortable around them. ARGH! No one would understand. And plus that feeling of "he's probably having a fling in college" cant seem to get out of my head. Yes. I know I might be paranoid, but who won't be after what happened. I am insecure about the whole situation, and I'm not denying it. ARGHHHHHHHH!* Anyway, screw it la! Don't wanna think about it. Whatever happens happens. This time I shall choose not to care so that when anything happens, I wouldn't get hurt. 


Here are my plans for what I planned to do since I would be in Ipoh for quite a while.
*Get a job - I wanna save money to pay for my new tattoo AND re-pierce the back of my neck.
*Join the gym - To lose weight and be healthy.
*Re-decorate my room - Its about time I gave my room a facelift & a new aircond. 
*Learn how to cook! - My Mangsa love would be back by then, and I wouldn't have to waste money eating out if I cook.
*GET MY DRIVING LICENSE! - Its about time. And I'm serious this time. DEAD SERIOUS.
*Meet up friends I haven't had the chance to hang out with - Yes. Especially high school mates.
And last but not least,
*Party till I forget my own name. - In Smita's dictionary, thats a must!


Hmmm. Sounds like a plan. So many things to do, SO MUCH OF TIME! By all this I would be too occupied to even know myboyfriendexists. Since thats probably what he wants anyway.


OHHHHH!! I have a new goal in life! To be a vegetarian hopefully by the time I'm 21. Not a full vegetarian, but I guess no red meat? Only seafood and chicken. Because just that day videos on animal skinning for fur was posted on Facebook, and everyone started commenting on it. And one of my friends actually said it was kinda hypocritical of us humans to be upset over the videos, and yet we still eat meat. I know I know. Even animals eat animals, thats the whole circle of life. That was my mindset the whole time. But to think of the fact that I love animals, I would be a hypocrite. No I don't support killing animals for our own luxuries, but for basic necessities like food, I chose to defer. But when I thought about how animals like pigs and cows were being tortured for meat[killing is still torturing, there are no 'proper' ways of doing it right?] I felt really bad. Animals like chicken or fish are different. Cause even chickens are stupid enough that if you feed them chickens, they would eat chicken. But animals like cows, pigs, goat, etc. ARGHHHH! Its gonna be really hard for me but I should try. Plus I think I really should start eating vegetables to be healthy anyway. So its a 2 in 1 kinda thing. Pork balls and steaks are hard to say goodbye to. But I guess there's no harm in trying. Oh well. We shall see how it goes.


To end my post, I shall blog about my retarded Mangsa. I was skyping with her, and she's just plain retarded that sometimes she leaves me speechless. Let the pictures do all the talking.












YES!! I TOLD YOU SHE'S WEIRD! Thats why I love her! :)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

08.10.09

Sometimes I just feel like shooting myself for all the mistakes and stupid things that I had ever done, especially when I'm drunk. The humiliation to myself, especially. Not forgetting, also to the people who care about me. But then, if I never did what I did, I wouldn't actually have actually learnt anything. I know I've made plenty of mistakes before. And I do admit my faults. The best part is, I don't have to feel like its end of the world, cause EVERYONE makes mistakes. :)





"Take chances, make mistakes. Thats how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to practice in order to be brave."-Mary Tyler Moore. 






Girl Guides.

I was looking through Raja Nadiah's pictures on FB and saw this. I had to blog about it. HAHAHAHA!



8th Coy.
Top row [left-right]
Don't know, Raja Nadiah, Khatrine Lim, Hanushaa, Kaysha, Cant see, Su Xian, dont know, Chuan Pei?, Dont know, Dont know.
2nd row[l-r]
forgot her name, Ngeaw Wai Leng, cant remember, Siew Pheik Yee, Soo Yi, Foh Poi Yee, Carrie Heng, Michelle Suhania, The Four tak tau nama.
3rd row[l-r]
Rachel Chiam, Ow Kwai Chan, Preeta, Sharanya, MAH YUK LING, Pavitra, the 3 I dont remember their names.
Sitting[l-r]
Kan Lai Lai, Tan Siew Leng, Smita[yes, laugh at my jungle eyebrows], Koh Wai Yee, Pn.Ravi, Lai Yin Yin, Soo Teng, Then Tzu Shin, Kimberly Anne Monteiro .
Kneeling[l-r]
Alicia Tan, Wooi Sue Jane, Amanda Yap, Saomithra, and I forgot her name.


I miss those times. Where we would always skip class to paint flags, practice for gatherings, gather during recess, MARCHING, and camps. Sigh. I miss high school. Music the most!

07.10.09





"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams". -Ashley Smith.




Wednesday, October 7, 2009

haha.





confession.

Dear Chuck Bass,
I am in love with you. More like obsessed. Since I first watched Gossip Girl. Which was last year. From the moment I set eyes on you, I knew I loved you. And no, not Ed Westwick, but Chuck Bass. Marry me please. I promise I'd make you happy forever. Preeta wants to share you with me. I said can. Only for a day. Don't worry. Only her. She said you turn her on. And she tak dapat for quite awhile. So I pity her la. HAHAHAHAHAHA! <3







I.love.Chuck.Bass.






Pissing off.

I read the newspapers today and guess what? I saw an article about a male tiger that was injured by poachers snare trap in the Royal Belum Forest Reserve in Perak. WTH! I think Malaysia should start taking wildlife poaching more seriously and once and for all put a stop to this! This is not the first time something like this has happened. At least they've sent it to the Malacca Zoo for it to be treated la but hello! Why do something for it only after this has happened, letting poor animals suffer instead of putting a stop to this for good? Its not like the authorities are even putting in effort to stop all this from happening. I'm so damn disappointed with this. If authorities don't 'close' an eye and actually care about the wildlife, something like this would never have happened. AAARGH! I wish I could knock some sense into the heads of these people. The tiger's leg might be amputated in order to save it. SEE! If they had actually done their bid to stop something like this, the poor tiger would have all its limbs in tact and we wouldn't have to worry much about losing another wildlife in our country. ISH!

This is the poor tiger. Picture taken from The Star Online. Please click the link to read more.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

<3s






Friendships that rocked my life.
*of course theres a few more but i cant find the pics.. :(

Cruel a*holes!

Preeta recently posted a link on my wall about dog fighting. I was shocked that its still common cause i actually thought people had stopped running dog fighting 'business' but the article was posted in 2007, JUST 2 YEARS AGO! These stupid ass people own and breed Pit bulls just to earn money from dog fighting. I didn't want to finish reading the article cause i didn't want to know what actually happened to the poor dogs but i just decided to read it and find out. It seriously is the worst thing people can actually do just for money! 2 dogs would have to battle each other in a life or death match. Pit bulls have a really really strong grip with their jaw, so imagine how the scene would be like, flesh being ripped off and blood splattering everywhere. I DON'T CARE IF ITS HUMANS WHO TEAR EACH OTHER APART BUT WHAT DID INNOCENT DOGS DO TO BE TREATED THIS WAY! The way they train the dogs also damn freaking kesian! And the worst part is, the owners actually kill off the dog that loses the 'battle'! Imagine repaying your dog that serves you and is loyal to you by fighting and going through all that pain and suffering and at the end of the day you freaking drown them because they are so badly injured that they can't even move? As I read more, I saw that the stupid matches started off with dogs as young as 10 months old! WTF!!!! Would you ever throw your kid up for something like this? And at the end the person who wrote the article mentioned how this one owner tried to kill his dog after his dog lost by electrocuting it to death. And even after that the poor dog was still alive so he had to use a stronger electric current.  What did they ever do to receive such treatment by us humans. Seriously. Humans are really a cruel and selfish race. I wish i could do the same thing to them. Yea sure, take it out on poor animals because they cant voice out their opinions or tell you how they feel, but that does not mean that we can abuse them or mistreat them! They share this earth too and they deserve to have every right to live, not just to serve us in violent ways especially! Whats so great in indulging in activities like dog fighting anyway? Just shows how lifeless and useless people are. This is the link to the article. 








Warning: Just prepare tissues before reading it la ok. 

Monday, October 5, 2009

:)

I should really be a detective. Or a CSI agent. Maybe I have the 6th sense. Who knows. Or maybe I just know my bestfriendPreetaDeviMangsaGanamapathy too well. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAA! Anyway, I'M SO SUPER HAPPY WITH THAT! I think its probably the best decision she has ever made. I <3 you!
Please oh please come back faster. Hahahaha. I can't wait for anything to REALLY happen! 


you.

What I like love about you?


*You somehow find a way to see me even when you're the busiest person on the planet, like a bee.
-just a thought, has anyone ever wondered why bees are busy? they are hardworking I know, but there are lazy bees who fly around 'visiting'. GREAT. Now I want a pet bee.


*Although we have different interest/taste in stuff, we still see eye2eye at the end of the day.


*You let me smell your armpits, and sometimes even lick them. 


*You don't care if I don't shave my legs.


*You don't care if I haven't showered the whole day. Or maybe two days. What about three?


*You know exactly what I like/don't like without even me having to remind you.
-which really is a BIGGGG accomplishment for you compared to last time. Goldfish.


*How retarded you look.


*How we bully each other.
-mostly its you bullying me. Pity me I'm ALWAYS the victim.


*When you tell me I look beautiful as soon as i get up from my beautysleep. 
-though I know I have a REALLY ugly sleeping face, Especially how masam I look when I get up. 


*How you let me sleep and drool on your chest and you just wipe it off after i wake up like its nothing.


*How you listen to the stories about my shit.


*How you actually kiss me in the mornings afternoons although I haven't brushed my teeth.


*How you try to wake me up though you're afraid about the stuff that I might shout at you as soon as I open my eyes.
-I'm really sorry, I do it subconsciously, not intentionally. You really have a LOT of patience to deal with my 'morningPMSes'


*When you stroke my hair and watch me sleep.


*How you tolerate it when I snore.


*All the retarded stuff you say&do.


*How you never fail to put a smile on my face though we argue.


There's a lot more to what I love about you but if i keep going on, I might never stop. If we hadn't broken up for that month+, its almost gonna be a year that we've been together. But I'm really glad we did break up, at least now we know how to appreciate each other. I promise you I would be a better girlfriend. I already see the changes that I never saw in you, despite me repeating it over and OVER again. Though sometimes u still drive me up the wall, I love you very much. :)


*Our very first pic together as a couple. <3
-okayyy i dont know why i decided to be jiwang today. Must have been the babiest dream la just now. ISHHHH!



Sunflowers&Root Canal.

I haven't updated my blog in months! Not like anyone reads it anyway. Hahahaha! I think I might have throat cancer. I have this really terrible sore throat. And swallowing polystyrene really doesn't make it better. Not like anyone told me it would, but I just wanted to see what it tasted like. HAHA. Today I had a dream, a scary dream. It was some weird dream about a Thai transvestite in a wedding gown and a camera that had been decorated to look like a sunflower tree or something. God knows. She was going around taking pics of random people, and i tried running away from her. Mini and Raja Nadiah were in my dream too! Anyway, she found us in the end, and knew we were avoiding getting our pictures taken. Then one of her transvestite friends cursed me in some weird way. Mini was screaming 'NOOOOOOOO' and I blurred out. When I gained my vision after that, it was day time. And I was alone on a street and went home. As soon as i opened the door, I saw Daniel lying dead on the floor with blood everywhere. Quite gruesome, really! There's more to the dream but I'm very lazy to type la so long. Everyone in the dream was scary except my friends. Mini says I should make movies out of my dreams. I think the only turn up for the movie would be the both of us, sitting excitedly with popcorn going 'Wa, DAMN CUN AR THIS PART?!'. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Anyway, i woke up and looked for Daniel who was actually sleeping beside me but I couldn't find him. Then i heard a sleepy 'mmmmm?' from under my armpit. I woke him up and told him about it. He slept off halfway while i was telling him my dream. stupidretardeddumbass. I mean, coolest bf. *pukes*. I miss Preeta, who is coming back next month weeeeeeeeeeeeee~ But the only thing I'm dreading about her return is my trip to the dentist. Yes. I'm sure that Mangsa is gonna drag my ass to my deathbed chair. I hate going to the dentist la it sucks. Why can't everyone just not have teeth and wear fake teeth. Ish. Life would be easier that way. 





Just looking at it makes me sick. yuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE!