Okay so like basically, today is definitely not a good day for me. Got screwed from 2 guys that actually have ever mattered to me, lesbo+retarded friend leaving back to UK. I don't even know where to start this. Okay let me start from the bitterness of everything and end it with something good.
My dad is in his own PMS world of his own, that kinda pissed me off. I texted him today knowing that his blood pressure was kinda high, and I was concerned after my mom told me. And his reply was "WHY YOU GOT NO MORE MONEY IS IT?!". I mean, yes I am fucking broke. But it never even crossed my mind to ask him for cash, I just wanted to see how he was doing. And he kept on going about how I am only bothered about my friends and whatnot. He even mentioned about how I waste money going partying. 1stly, I rarely spend money when I'm out coz usually I get free drinks&shots. The upside about knowing people. I'm in Ipoh for goodness sake. So yea, of course I would bump into friends or know when I should be out on Ladies Night for free shit. Of course I can't do it every night, but when he was back I was out. I mean, logically think about it. My sister&I always used to stay at home last time and wait for him to get back so we could spend time with him, but yea he was always out with his friends. So I basically just adapted to it. I mean, don't expect me to make sacrifices when you can't do the same. It became a whole issue. Be the change you want to see in others. Treat others how you want to be treated. Thats what I always believed in. Still do. So yea. Thats one.
Second. YOU. yes you. You know fucking well how much I love you. We've been through so much, so I would expect you to know. Yes I do have a sleep switch. Everyone knows it but sadly not you. Sorry I love partying. To me its something I do to have fun and just forget the world. Yea sounds selfish but its my escape. My general way of letting go and just be retarded and enjoy the moments I have with my friends. Life is too short to be serious. No one gets out alive anyway. Yes I know it may sound selfish, but its not intentional. I mean, I drink, I get happy, dance with my friends, do shit, fall down, laugh, cry, be a complete fool, next day I think back and be "Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!". Never deceiving you. Not after I've came to my realization. I just wanna let my hair down and go all out. I am like that. You were with me even when I was like that. I have always been that way. So why the restrictions now. If you can't love me for who I really am, then don't. If I'm just having fun based on my own selfishness and enjoyment, then I wouldn't even be attached. But I am. I still get drunk and party like a rockstar with my closest friends who do coz I want to, and because I am ONLY 21(going on 22). Life is too short to be anything but happy. If I really wanted to be a slut I can. But I'm not. So yes, please do understand where I'm coming from.
I'm too lazy to be bugged by the 'men' in my life. Only two really matter, yet they think the same. So you know what, DON'T EVEN BOTHER ABOUT ME! I'mfine just the way I am. I am an adult, I know how to think for myself. I just feel sorry for the BOTH of you for not willing to accept me for WHO I REALLY AM. Maybe one day I would find someone who would. Not my loss then.
Anywhos. My best crazyretardedbitch is leaving back to UK today. FML. You see the thing is, with her, I FUCKING enjoy my time in Ipoh, coz basically I met someone crazier and more retarded than I am.
The both of us. <3
When you would waste polaroids on Shaun&I
When we do stupid stuff like this.
When we steal Adrian's stuff.
And exchange.
Best of all, when you are such a perv my love.
How la when you are gone? I think I would die. Though you would be here again in April. Its still a VERY VERY long time. Xian, I love you. :')
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